the worst poem in the world

let the cat out 

i feel morbid and melancholy

and am adolescently convinced

i’d simply die without you

and oh, i’ll say a lot of things

about how i love and want and need you

but i don’t have a cat

and i don’t love you

and you don’t have a cat

but my dog once snapped the neck

of my grandma’s prize persian

oh how funny and awkward and awful

all these things inevitably are

because cats and love are both

unfamiliar to me

so i give up

finally

and let them be

i always liked dogs better

anyway