janus

let me out

out of this turmoil

this confusion

this mire of mirth that isn’t mirthful

but a mask

—

don’t want to hold onto hurt

to paste a smile upon the faker’s face

and say it’s all okay

i can ignore it, make it go away

’til the mask slips

then when i see the hurting faces

i go to pieces, too

angry at being permanently locked out

forced to wait on the land’s end of the drawbridge

held aloof

now that i’m on the other side of this door …

               let me in