ballad for baby

“oh, baby, baby”

the voice on the radio croons

thinking all the girls

will swoon at his feet

because he oozes charm

and calls them “baby”

i’ve got news for you

mr. bandstand idol

i for one

won’t be called “baby”

is that all you know

how to say


if you’re stuck

for a word

do you just insert


that’s stupid

like your slicked-back hair

and your heat-lamp tan

if terms of endearment

require childish epithets

i’d prefer a casablancan bogey’s

“here’s lookin’ at you, kid”

to this shameless




“baby, baby, oh baby”


let me give you

a dictionary

or would you know

how to use it?

i’m not your baby

you lounge-lizard

get some new words