i find it odd
the way friends are born
when first i saw you i didn’t
just bones and body
the thing the soul rides around in
now that i don’t see you i do
bone and body stripped away
soul laid fearfully, honestly bare
i saw myself in the darkened mirror
my flaws for a moment hushed and muted
exposure is something we dread
our secrets being paraded publicly
but dually long for
to be accepted in spite of our humanity
and misery and fallen majesty
for years i longed for someone to understand
the eternal soul within the failed body
and my tears wet my pillow in despair
everywhere i looked my heart played the trickster
you might be pretty today, perhaps —
you will never be beautiful
your gift is one thousands long for —
millions have it; you have no chance
somehow you must be perfect —
carry everyone’s pain upon your back
i say this because every failure to heal
rips my heart in two
i cannot preach, i cannot prophesy
all i have are words
and even those abandon me in my need
i am afraid and do not understand my shadows
do you hear me?
this is my soul, ragged and tattered
a sky scarred by lightning
i know i was made to be perfected
power shining through my weakness
but i wonder if who i am is who i am
was my choice wise, or is this falling again?
i need to lose myself in Him
before anyone can find me
this is my heart, scared and unsure
with all wit washed away
i am naive, jealous, proud, vain
i am a dull diamond full of flaws
i have been deceitful — i will be honest
i am wiser than i seem
more foolish than i look
here i stand, oh so human
waiting, my shell stripped off
