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notes on a previous life

i was not prepared for the

enormity

of becoming another person

the strange alienation from

myself

to myself

adopting the second being

that had always

cowered deep inside

she was bold, brave, fearless

the opposite of my

timidity

charming, vibrant

a tease if ever there was

but genuine

unconcerned

with what people thought of

her

i never told her

she had to be

normal

so she wasn’t

and never cared …

even after he found her

i thought the two of them

might have fun

wile away lonely hours far from home

together

making them not so forlorn

he became a part

of her definition

his heart

sutured onto my soul

he was beautiful because

he was real

so shockingly human

and tangible

but i had to break him

she couldn’t live

forever

even though i never

wanted to look back

i wrote him a letter

when they said

goodbye

she gave it him

in my handwriting

he learned she wasn’t real

jekyll killed hyde

or maybe it was the other way

’round

anyway

i thought it had ended

i mourned my

what some might call

stupidity

my playing by the rules

yet when i rested my

weary bones

on my own shores

in childhood’s house …

there he stood

oh so mockingly

real

a ghost of previous lives

come back to

haunt me

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