i had dreams once
of things that i wanted
or people
watching them melt away
like fog on a hot afternoon
makes me realize
how blind i’ve been all along
how blind i can be still
comfortable in the pattern of lassitude
and custom-designed galaxies
there are so many little things
which i fear greatly
and so confuse myself
as to the consequences
of chastening and pardoned sin
am i a hypochondriac
or just carelessly guiltly?
i play mind games against myself
naturally, nobody wins