i had dreams once

of things that i wanted

or people

watching them melt away

like fog on a hot afternoon

makes me realize

how blind i’ve been all along

how blind i can be still

comfortable in the pattern of lassitude

and custom-designed galaxies

there are so many little things

which i fear greatly

and so confuse myself

as to the consequences

of chastening and pardoned sin

am i a hypochondriac

or just carelessly guiltly?

i play mind games against myself

naturally, nobody wins