monologue for conversation

you impress me, you know

with your large vocabulary of multi-syllable words

as i chart the existence of my ribcage and vertebrae

there is a hugeness in the way you write

a grace and a grandeur not learned

that must come from an everlastingness of thought

transmuted from manic inactivity

i’m whittling down to the bones that hang me together

curious if someone else will pop out

from the shed excess of body i’ve tended

you’re fearlessly good at hiding

although whether it’s concealment

or an unknowing of expressionism

i have yet to decipher

perhaps we are alike in a loss for words

at the crucial moment of confusion

and uncertainty — language betrays

and leaves us mutely blinking, mouthing pleasantries

how can i say something i don’t know

or why does it matter?

life goes frighteningly, blessedly on

in the face of stammering

if you find my skeleton bury her gently

and i will bury yours soft beneath sand

these are already dead, remember

put your words in the mouth of the phoenix

listening to its cry of triumph

pain, rebirth

such are we

so are you