after i wrote about my predilection for not talking much in certain settings, i thought i should clarify a couple of things:
1. i love people.
2. i love to talk.
(imagine that i have grinned.)
i mention these two things because —
a. i am not always very demonstrative (“ancora imparo,” to explain it in latin.)
b. i also sometimes prefer to just listen — to conversation or silence.
but there was a time, way back in the days in when my friends and i would have sleepovers, that i was routinely the last one asleep. once i started talking i would talk, and talk, and talk, and talk … my friend kimmi said to me once, “i am listening, but, just to warn you, i am going to fall asleep.” (i kept talking, and yes, she did fall asleep. but i didn’t mind, and i’m assuming neither did she.)
and before that, even, shortly after i’d learned to talk, when my mom and i went grocery shopping i’d sit in the cart and ask the passersby, “what’s your name?”
often before they could get in a word edgewise i’d follow it up with “what’s your middle name?”
—
if i talk about something that makes me curious, or angry, or passionate (yes, that does happen!); if i’m excited; if i’m talking one-on-one with somebody or with just a few people at once, then i can (and often will) talk a blue streak. maybe this has to do with the ruminating aspect of my personality — once i’m through chewing things over in my mind, and someone opens the window of conversation, i leap through it enthusiastically. i don’t always have to spend a lot of time thinking before i say something. (sometimes my mind goes totally blank, however, if i’m tired, and then i say lots of half-sentences whilst my brain goes frantically whizzing ’round looking for a thought to grab and words to put with it.)
i’m learning to ask questions about other people and let them sort of guide the conversation that way (sidenote: i did this today! not on purpose, but i just remembered that it happened successfully).
i enjoy people. i enjoy talking. i enjoy people who enjoy talking. half the fun of talking is listening, though, and watching how the other person (or other people) talks.
—
on the flip side of this issue of not talking much, i am insatiably curious. there are all kinds of questions i find myself wanting to ask people … but often they’re things that i don’t actually need to know. i want to know the answers to my questions, but i end up not asking because i decide it’s not my business, or i don”t know the person well enough yet to ask them with the assurance they’ll feel safe in answering. maybe i should just wear a button on my sweater that says “tell me ALL about yourself” and i’ll stop people when they start telling too much. (now imagine another grin with a slightly shocked expression.)
so, to sum up: i like people. i like finding out about people. i like telling people about things. if i start talking, sometimes i have to be told (nonverbally usually, but sometimes out loud) to be succinct or to stop. and then sometimes i’m perfectly happy to just watch and listen — and learn that way. : )
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observation: i’m not fond of spiders, but it’s junebugs i really loathe. they’re dumb and sticky.
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