i’ve imagined a tomorrow —
a whole series of them, in fact
suited for illustration
in comical pen and ink
to be sold for $20 a print
and hung on the walls
of the living rooms
of a set smarter
than i subscribe to —
and it is charming
with a cherry-red door
one million musty books
and a cat as big
as a baby lion
a pepper pot
and a salt shaker
you and i disguised
as crockery or glassware
quite content in our
glorious mundanity.
i say tomorrow
and i say imagined
but i could say forever
and not at all;
i could say dreamed
and destroyed
by wrecking ball.
i say suited for illustration —
caricature might
be more apt a description
of the eviction notices
i’ve served myself
in this regard. i say
smarter than i
and tell the truth
in essentials while
leaving the details fuzzy.
showing too much
is the artist’s downfall;
i’ll be a thurber bloodhound
gazing at a daisy
mournful that its petals
have been snatched
out of my greedy teeth.
i’ve imagined a tomorrow —
i keep hoping to wake up
and remember
it was only all a dream.
Mostly awesome. A few of the lines jar against your brevity – “Glorious mundanity” sticks out like a sore thumb – but I really like how your poem stresses active images over abstract content for the most part. It lets me play. Nicely done!
thanks! i appreciate the constructive criticism; i haven’t had much of that since college poetry writing classes, and it’s helpful to be told where the weak links in my word chains are.
Don’t forget that I offered one criticism for about five praises. :P I like the poem.
true, and thank you. :) peer critiques were always my favorite part of english courses.