such a beautiful view
with a long way to fall
i was afraid how it could hurt
to leave the safety up above
but if it doesn’t
it’s not love
— sean watkins, not sure
i’m not exactly what you’d call a daring person. i dream a lot — big, sometimes elaborate dreams — but when it comes to putting them into practice, i usually don’t follow through. it’s easier not to. it’s safer. it’s more comfortable. it’s the known, rather than the unknown. and so i’ll look off into the mental distance and think “someday i’ll do that. yes, someday. i will.”
i’m going to be 25 in a couple of months. that number has been staring me down since my 24th birthday. it’s so … final, in a way. as if to say “you are one quarter of a century old now. what have you done with yourself? what are you doing with yourself? oh, and in five more years, you’ll be 30.”
i’m not usually the loud screaming type. i’m more of the quietly panicking type. turning 25, though, has had me loudly screaming inside my brain. if that surprises you, it’s because it’s about as subtle as all my other emotions tend to be (except for happiness, which i hope is pretty obvious).
anyhow. i realized i had a bunch of things i was meaning to do “someday.” and that eventually i would run out of somedays … at least flexible ones. i decided to stop gazing off into the distance of beautiful someday dreams and jump off the cliff into the possibilities.
so i’ve started investigating being a contributing writer or editor for some great resources for women. i’m taking fencing again this fall — something i love but haven’t done since my senior year of high school, and have never done without friends in the class, too. i’m taking latin, which i have wanted to study for a long time but never had the chance to.
and i’m flying to taiwan — by myself — to visit my sister, brother, nephew and brand-spanking-new niece.
these are all very little things, in a way, but they’re also gateways to bigger possibilities, and i’m excited to see how God will use them. my sister told me 24 was the best age, but i haven’t thought much of it so far.
but now i’m excited to see what 25 will bring.
