i want the world to stop, as belle & sebastian say.
i want it to stop lying to me.
i want it to stop telling me things matter that don’t matter.
i want appearances to stop counting for anything.
i want to tell someone everything i keep inside that i don’t know how to say.
i want my selfishness and all the things that are ugly in me to stop.
i want to know the hows and whys.
and the whens.
i want this joy thing to be uproarious and not so much labor.