dear joan

“… I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.”

Joan Didion, Slouching Toward Bethlehem

dear joan,

i thought of you tonight when i saw the photo of a dark, moody mountain

with a foreground of rust-red grass,

over them both a gleaming sun

empearled in a stormy sky

i don’t recall where in the world it was

nor the girl who took the picture

and what she was at the time

whether her heart was dark like the mountain

or red as the grass

her mind stormy as the sky or pearl-bright and glowing

i do not remember her face

or the sound of her laughter

her particular fears or foolish hopes

i do not remember any of it

yet i suppose it must have happened

and i suppose

from where i found the photo

that the girl who took it

used to be me