he doesn’t belong to me
and i know that
i don’t belong to him
i know that too
but for four years
— five years? —
i’ve tricked myself into blushing when he walks by
and have weaved him into the dreams of waking and sleeping
which is absurd
to give him the benefit of the doubt
i don’t think he realizes what he’s doing
charm is deceitful and beauty vain
and i frequently find myself lying
to myself
to cement the cobwebby dreams i’ve spun
that’s no basis for anything
and i know it
