chronicles of a pneumoniac

it was the winter of my discontent

housebound i watched the weeks slip by

fevered dreams giving way to fretful, cold wakings

in the watches of the night

each time my brain longed for air

my fickle body shook, ’til spasms ceased

i waited, listless, trying to conquer the

machine that measured my breaths

fearful every time my nailbeds turned blue

pills poured into me every two hours

trying to control the fire

had i been given a choice it would

not have been this

but i wasn’t —

so what was the lesson?

fighting to surrender

          in surrendering the fight