it was the winter of my discontent
housebound i watched the weeks slip by
fevered dreams giving way to fretful, cold wakings
in the watches of the night
each time my brain longed for air
my fickle body shook, ’til spasms ceased
i waited, listless, trying to conquer the
machine that measured my breaths
fearful every time my nailbeds turned blue
pills poured into me every two hours
trying to control the fire
had i been given a choice it would
not have been this
but i wasn’t —
so what was the lesson?
fighting to surrender
in surrendering the fight
