i swear i’m gonna start banging my head on the keyboard soon
the storm has entered my soul — lightning strikes my brain
thunder rumbles through my heart
this isn’t funny
i feel like i’m ripping apart
i didn’t want this to happen again
has it? is it? will it?
how do i know?
how do i stop it?
why can’t i just for once act normal
be like my heroines who do everything right
even if they really don’t
i keep thinking i’ve done something wrong
does thinking it make it true?
but still —
it doesn’t make sense to me.
no sense at all.
maybe it’s not my problem but someone else’s.
but then is it my fault if i made the problem happen helped it unknowingly?
why do i have no one
to teach me these things?
most girls do whether they like it or not.
have b(r)others, i mean.
yet that isn’t an excuse — there’s a reason for everything — i can’t see it yet
i know life is never easy
did You mean me to learn something here?
am i getting it?
or am i missing it?
i don’t like confusion.
i had a thought then forgot it
what do i do now?