the love doctors

we have some platonic forms for you to fill out

list your daydreams in chronological, alphabetical order

and then state the unconscious wishes of your heart

the physical manifestation of your ethereal mind will be

submitted to a rigorous examination before you are allowed

to proceed with any of your shadowy, gossamer plans

it is our duty to protect our patients from each other and themselves

to further this end, we offer private instruction in overcoming

guilt caused by thinking too much and having a heart in general

our licensed specialists are three trained monkeys who see, hear

and speak no evil and teach you how to do or not do the same

if you suffer from paranoia rest assured that you can distrust us

no more than we already distrust you, considering that you have

applied to us for help in the first place — we do, however, offer

medication options for the chronically ill, these including an

overabundance of music to induce appetite suppression, heavy

draughts of the waters of forgetfulness, or the endurance of

hearing dogs bark at crows, should music not suit your humour

all information received will be kept in the strictest confidence

it is up to you to commit yourself to this course of action,

but we heartily recommend it since we like having sustenance

if you do not understand anything in the above statement

please ask for clarification, but we cannot be held liable for

your own obtuse or perverse character or chameleon moods

we will treat you with as much skill and care as we posses,

but do not feel the necessity of informing our patients when

we no longer care — soon you will be able not to care, too

may God have mercy on your soul, for we give your heart none

to signify that you have read and understood our statement of

terms, conditions, liabilities, services offered and pure whimsy,

sign here, please

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