from the bookshelves: the word museum by jeffrey kacirk
this book is pretty cool. it’s full of odd, quaint and queer old words that most (“normal”) people don’t use anymore. being such, it gave me the perfect word to describe the shrubbery also known as my hair: aflunters. kacirk says it means “in a state of disorder.” yep, that’s my hair, all right. even when i take the time to blow it dry or use the curling iron or flatiron on it, it still looks more-or-less shrub-like. but there are more important things in life than hair to worry about!
they finally fixed the boiler at work and got the heat turned back on. the temperature rose ten degrees and some of us started to sweat. i came all decked out in tights and many layers of shirts in order to combat the arctic frigidity … and then got to feeling rather warmish toward the end. but at least i don’t have to break out the fingerless gloves just yet. evidently my predecessor was quite the knitter and had many pairs of fingerless gloves. she also knit all her own socks. me, i just stick to the knit stitch and do it really well.
i suppose i should introduce to you my coworkers chuck and sam. chuck is not exactly our boss, but he knows how to do everything and knows everything that’s going on, so he’s essentially the supreme fountain of wisdom as far as our department is concerned. sam and i ran out of things to do about an hour or so before going-home-time, so chuck created two projects for us.
sam: so which one of us do you want to do which?
chuck: oh, i thought i’d let the two of you battle it out. i wouldn’t suggest using rubber bands, though, because she got a whole bag for her birthday.
me: pulls rubber band out of bag, loads it on finger, shows it to chuck.
me: don’t worry, i wouldn’t shoot you.
aims at sam’s cubicle. rubber band goes flying. cue hysterical laughter from chuck and i at my inability to hit my target.
brian: hey, be careful!
me: where’d it go?
sam: i don’t know. it flew over my head.
brian: it’s all good fun until someone loses an eye.
me: and then you’re a pirate.
perhaps i should explain that i sit diagonally across from sam and we can’t see each other because our computers are in the way. i like to think that this is the main reason why i couldn’t hit him.
… i guess i could always try again tomorrow, though …