i was not prepared for the
enormity
of becoming another person
the strange alienation from
myself
to myself
adopting the second being
that had always
cowered deep inside
she was bold, brave, fearless
the opposite of my
timidity
charming, vibrant
a tease if ever there was
but genuine
unconcerned
with what people thought of
her
i never told her
she had to be
normal
so she wasn’t
and never cared …
even after he found her
i thought the two of them
might have fun
wile away lonely hours far from home
together
making them not so forlorn
he became a part
of her definition
his heart
sutured onto my soul
he was beautiful because
he was real
so shockingly human
and tangible
but i had to break him
she couldn’t live
forever
even though i never
wanted to look back
i wrote him a letter
when they said
goodbye
she gave it him
in my handwriting
he learned she wasn’t real
jekyll killed hyde
or maybe it was the other way
’round
anyway
i thought it had ended
i mourned my
what some might call
stupidity
my playing by the rules
yet when i rested my
weary bones
on my own shores
in childhood’s house …
there he stood
oh so mockingly
real
a ghost of previous lives
come back to
haunt me
