the unpleasant sensation of a very slow mind

do you get enough sleep?

i’m not convinced i do, so i should probably not be keeping myself awake any longer by writing this post. but i’ve started now, so i might as well finish.

i will confess that i really enjoy sleeping. i love sunday afternoon naps. i love slow saturday mornings when there’s nothing i have to be awake to do and i can finally, maybe, sleep in a little bit.

but, wouldn’t you know it, events conspire against us sometimes and delay (or outright prevent) sleep longer than we’d like. events! socializing! oh, we are social creatures (yes, even we introverted creatures have our moments of yearning for company) and needs must do a million things that inevitably keep us up or out longer than we’d planned.

well, that is not necessarily a bad thing. in fact, it is wonderful to be able to spend time with people. i enjoy it. but it does take some consideration of when to say “good night and go to bed,” whether you’re visiting in person or via electrons.

then there’s the plain just-can’t-help-it situation where you have lumpy pillows or a crick in your neck or a stitch in your back or it’s too hot or too cold or you have nightmares or you’re just plain restless and your mind just won’t stop thinking.

add all this up and you might find yourself experiencing sleep deprivation. oh boy.

for various reasons (some simply being i won’t go to bed) i haven’t been getting the 8 hours of sleep every night i’ve been told i should have. i also drink coffee in the mornings with breakfast and at work. coffee = caffeine = awakeness, right? apparently not if you get used to it.

so lately i’ve had little zone-out times where my mind feels like it won’t focus and my eyes are heavy enough that i expect them to drop at any second. thankfully i never have actually fallen asleep then, but it’s slightly disconcerting when my brain gets to that state and i’m driving in the dark. whoosh! look, there i go.

to stop complaining for a moment, though, this has made me realize that i’m responsible for taking care of my body, so, aside from the circumstances beyond my control (dreams?), i’m pretty much the only person i can blame for my grumpiness, irritability and overwhelming fogginess of mind.

so, self: you’re almost 24; be responsible and go to bed on time!

something tells me that the little child in the back of my mind will start whining “but i dooooooooooon’t waaaaaaaaaaaant tooooooooooooo.”

and the devious, mischievous part of me that delights in splitting hairs will ask, sarcastically, “how exactly do you define ‘on time’?”

oh well. : )