change still stays the same

humans are amphibians — half spirit and half animal. … as spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. this means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change. — c.s. lewis, the screwtape letters

there is so much change and busyness going on right now that sometimes it’s hard to see the constancy of God behind and above and around everything. not that i doubt He’s there; i need to slow down, be quiet and just be with Him.

for someone whose natural tendency is to take her time doing things (as you will have noticed if you’ve ever seen me eat), it is incredibly difficult to make myself slow down and be quiet and do nothing.

Jesus is a real person who really actually loves me. sometimes i try to imagine what it would be like if a man was in love with me and sent me sweet notes all the time telling me he loved me and wanted to be around and with me … and i shrugged and said “i love you” casually and then just ignored him when he was around or only came to talk to him when i was angry or bored or wanted something. that would be pretty mean, right? yet that’s what i do with Jesus when i get caught up in all my busyness and think of Him as just one more thing to fit into my schedule somewhere … and think “oh, He’ll understand” if i don’t get to Him in the morning … or if i’m so tired in the evening that my brain stops being able to think and formulate words to put in front of each other so i can pray.

and, of course, i am weak and He is strong; His power is made perfect in my weakness. of course i don’t know how to pray as i ought and the Holy Spirit prays for me and makes my prayers effectual. of course life is not a performance and eternity is not based on how well i said my lines or correctly interpreted the author’s script and stage directions.

even so, living in His love for me and loving Him is the only way i can love other people. obedience and discipline aren’t meant to be restrictive, oppressive chains; they’re meant to be gateways to a life full of freedom and joy and wonder.

oh God, help me see things for what they are.

mumford & sons/birdy, learn me right